


something so wretched about this (something so precious about this)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [14]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany), SKAM (France), SKAM (Norway)
Genre: ALSO LOOK I FINALLY GOT IN AN ELIOTT POV, Catharsis, Coping Mechanisms, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Post-Canon, Pov Eliott, WOO, all the evaks living in antwerp, also i'm going to give a lot of the parents first names, and they differ from remake to remake so you'll get those here, everyone supporting each other, hi i have very strong headcanons about the various Isak parents, jk Davenzi makes an appearance at the end, mentions of all of the evaks but only Elu and Evak show up in this fic, not exactly angst but a cousin of it, obligatory screaming from the rooftops catharsis fic, of a sort i guess, so there's that as well, sorry - Freeform, this happens pre-Lucas VDH in the timeline but post-proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 15:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Eliott can't help but think about Even's second favorite movie. What happens after he rescues her? said the man, and She rescues him right back, Julia Roberts had replied.Years ago, Lucas rescued him. Isak rescued Even. They were at their worst and Lucas and Isak found them. They caught them and they held them and they stayed in the darkness with them until the cloud passed.And they haven't left since. (That's the important part, at the end of the day. The not leaving. The most important thing someone can do for you, in Eliott's opinion.)But Eliott and Even did some rescuing right back. Lucas and Isak were at the worst points in their life, feeling unloved and alone despite being surrounded by friends who really did care. They had lost their homes and their families and were so far deep in the closet they might have met the White Witch.Eliott and Even met Lucas and Isak and four boys were saved. They rescued each other and have kept rescuing each other since.And now that they live in the same city, the four of them and their counterparts, they can all keep saving each other.(After a bad conversation with Isak's father, him and Lucas end up screaming on a rooftop together.)
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Even Bech Næsheim & Eliott Demaury, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Lucas Lallemant & Isak Valtersen, Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550230
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	something so wretched about this (something so precious about this)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [surrealsunday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrealsunday/gifts).



> Title is from "From Eden" by Hozier, and I listened mostly to the original version and Chloe Castro's cover of the song to write this fic.
> 
> (And yes, I know I've written at least five different fics already with lyrics from this song for the titles, but shut up, I can do what I want. The song is tied for my favorite of all time, so just deal with it. The lyrics just fit so well.)

_Babe, there's something wretched about this_

_Something so precious about this_

_Babe, there's something broken about this_

_But I might be hoping about this_

_Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago_

_Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know_

**_-Hozier_ , From Eden**

Just because they’re all counterparts, just because they all understand each other rather well, doesn’t mean that they’re guaranteed to always get along. Some relationships between some of them go too deeply, some fault lines carving too close to heart lines, for things not to spill out into the open and people not to end up hurt.

So when Lucas storms into his and Eliott’s flat one night- a night when he and Isak were supposed to be hanging out- with alcohol on his breath, Eliott isn’t too surprised, though he is a bit worried as to what caused the upset.

He knows, after all, that Lucas and Isak are both rather stubborn men who can easily clash if prompted to it- especially if they both got drunk tonight.

Then, without preamble, Lucas spits: "Fathers fucking suck," and, well, Eliott guesses he judged the situation wrong.

“Oh,” he says, and sits down at the kitchen counter next to Lucas. “What happened?”

Eliott knows he's one of the luckier ones in the group, when it comes to parents. Of his counterparts, David and Sander definitely drew the short stick on that one, and Nico has plenty of stories on how his mother and father spent years doubting him as much as Maddalena did, with them only really starting to understand him and believe his emotions in his uni years.

Eliott and Even and Joana- they got lucky, when it comes to parents. They have parents who support them, who are there for them, who have never made them feel unloved or misunderstood, even in moments of conflict.

But when it comes to Lucas and his counterparts, on the other hand- god, where does Eliott start? Does he start with their fathers, who aside from Cris and Robbe’s mostly just neglectful fathers are entirely homophobic assholes? Marti’s is probably the biggest dick as he cheated on Marti’s mother, even having a kid with his mistress, but the rest of them were all assholes in their own right. Lucas’ father cut him off the moment he came out to him, Isak’s father blamed him for his mother's relapse the year he moved to Antwerp for university, and Matteo’s moved to fucking _Italy_ to get away from him and his mother.

Eliott knows how much Lucas and his counterparts don’t want to be like their fathers. Eliott knows that so many of Lucas’ insecurities are bound up in his father leaving his mother and him behind, that for years Lucas felt like he’d failed his mother because he’d _also_ left her. (Though Eliott has always known that there is a severe difference between a fifteen-year-old boy leaving because he can’t handle taking care of his mother anymore and a full-grown adult leaving his partner.) It took years for Lucas to forgive himself for leaving his mother and also the comment he made in the hallway to Eliott, the comment that led to Eliott going back to Lucille and back off of his meds, if only for a brief few weeks.

But Eliott knows, just as Even and David and Nico and Sander and Joana know, that none of their partners are anything like their parents. On a day to day basis (a minute to minute basis) they decide over and over again to not be like the fathers that abandoned them.

Eliott knows that Lucas would never leave him like his father left his mother. Lucas would never take someone who needed treatment, who was hurting themselves, and just abandon them without helping- especially if that person is Eliott, who he loves. (That _is_ one reason in he's in med school, after all- to help people like Eliott and his mother.)

(Though Eliott has to admit that in his worst moments, when his mind is swallowed whole by a depressive episode, he thinks that Lucas _deserves_ to leave him. He thinks that Lucas deserves more than what Eliott can give him. Lucas is always quick to dissuade such arguments, though, and when Eliott's brain isn't turning on himself he knows that to be true.)

“Isak’s father is being a douche again,” Lucas says, “He called Isak while I was over there and he had the fucking _audacity_ to invite Isak to his wedding with his new wife without even fucking calling Isak in _two fucking years_." His entire body is trembling with anger as he practically spits: "And do you know what that fucker did when Isak asked if he could bring his fiance with him?”

(Eliott can just imagine the dark edge to Isak’s voice when he’d asked his father if he could bring Even with him- it’s the same tone that Marti and Lucas use, sometimes, a tone that warns of the potential danger of what might happen if you’re foolish enough to go against them.)

“What did he say?” Eliott asks, having a rather good idea of the answer but not wanting to put it into words.

“He fucking told him that 'it'd be preferable if you didn't do that in front of the family.' Because Isak's Dad thinks that his and Even's relationship is _inappropriate_ for the kids. Marti’s father is still the absolute worst piece of shit in the world, but Isak’s dad is certainly coming pretty fucking close.”

(No, Eliott would definitely argue that Pierre Lallemant is the absolute biggest piece of shit father in the world- in fact, he’d argue that Pierre Lallemant doesn’t even deserve to get called a “father,” that’s how shitty he is- but that might be his bias speaking. It might not be, either, but the point still stands.)

Eliott looks over at the photos on the wall. Of the parents who have visited them here in Antwerp, he can count his parents, Even’s moms, Joana’s parents, and Marti’s mom.

And that’s another strange point- Lucas and his counterparts’ mothers are as varied as their fathers are. Their mental illnesses are as widespread as Eliott and his counterparts’. Lucas, Isak, and Robbe’s moms have schizophrenia. Matteo’s mother is actually bipolar. Cris’s mother isn’t mentally ill, just rather conservative (though they all realized years ago that Cris’ family situation is the most unique one amongst them all. It would have to be, after all, to land her with Amira as her childhood best friend rather than Jorge.), and Marti’s mamma has clinical depression. Marti and Matteo’s moms are the most well-adjusted nowadays, though only Marti’s Mamma is the only one of their mothers well-adjusted enough to travel to see them here in Antwerp.

Lucas’ gaze follows Eliott over to the wall, as well, his expression softening just a little. “I guess not all Dads are complete shitheads,” he says, “Yours isn’t, after all.”

"I'll let him know you said that," Eliott says with a smile to his boyfriend, who just rolls his eyes before leaning up on his toes to give Eliott a kiss. Lucas sways a little bit into the kiss and Eliott can immediately read his boyfriend's exhaustion and emotional state from his posture.

So Eliott takes Lucas’ hand gently, lovingly. “Let’s go to bed,” he says, “Sleep all this off.”

Lucas expression shifts. “Can we make out some before bed?”

Eliott has become a rather good judge of Lucas’ level of intoxication over the years, and he knows when to make sure to put a careful stop to any sexual activity so that neither of them are blurring the lines of consent. He never wants to ever, ever, make Lucas uncomfortable, after all, or push his boundaries.

Tonight, though, Lucas isn’t that drunk. He’s definitely tipsy and still a little pissed off at Isak’s father- and thus no sex for the evening- but some making out will be just fine.

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Eliott says, and smiles at Lucas as he lets Lucas take his hand and lead them both to the bedroom.

-

The next afternoon finds Eliott, Even, Lucas, and Isak hanging out at a cafe halfway between their apartments, Isak clearly still a bit...well, not hungover, not really, but with dark bags under his eyes that speak to exhaustion.

Even, on the other hand, seems to be just fine, all casual and nonchalant with a wide smile on his lips and plenty of jokes and stories to tell.

But Eliott knows better. He knows _Even_ better, maybe better than any of his other counterparts, because he and Even have _very_ similar ways of handling the world- maybe that’s related to the fact that they’re the only two of their counterparts to share their exact mental illness, maybe not- and he knows how Even worries about Isak, because it's almost the same way that Eliott himself worries about Lucas.

Eliott can see that Even is worried about his fiance, from the way that his concerned gaze rarely leaves Isak’s face, from the fact that his arm, so casually slung around Isak's shoulders, doesn't once budge in all the time that they're sitting there talking.

Eventually, after about twenty minutes of mostly casual conversation about movies and school work and every single inane topic under the sun, Isak sighs and slumps forward a bit in his seat. “I know you want to ask,” he says to Lucas, who immediately straightens up in his seat.

“Did you tell your father to fuck off?” Lucas asks, blunter than any of his counterparts, still as prickly as the day that Eliott met him.

“It’s complicated,” Isak says, though his tone speaks to the fact that he knows exactly what he wants to say, but it's probably not something he thinks he _can_ say.

“I get that,” Lucas says, an undercurrent of dark humor to his voice that would put most people on edge but that just makes Isak arch a tired eyebrow. “But you don’t deserve for him to treat you and Even like that.”

“Like your Dad treats you and Eliott?” Isak instantly replies, clearly still tired because usual Isak is usually a hell of a lot better at not overstepping boundaries like that.

Lucas, however, knows just how to handle Isak at his worst- probably because his worst looks so much like Lucas'. “My Dad doesn’t get to treat Eliott and I that way because he cut me off,” Lucas says, “But only because I didn’t get the opportunity to do so first.”

Isak nods. “Alright,” he concedes. “So you think I should cut my Dad out?”

“After that comment he made about you and Even?” Lucas says, eyes bright as they always are when he’s righteously pissed off (an expression that makes Eliott want to pull him into a kiss _so_ badly, but he’ll content himself with just holding Lucas’ hand in the meantime instead, allowing Lucas to get his point across). “Fuck yeah.”

Isak looks to Even even as he fiddles with the ring on his finger, as he has taken to doing while he’s nervous or uncertain over the past few months. "And you, babe?"

Even glances between Eliott and Isak, and Eliott has a feeling about what he's thinking about. Even and Eliott are more similar to each other than they are to any of their counterparts, after all, and in many ways Isak and Lucas are the same. 

Lucas and Isak don’t really talk about what their mothers were like before they moved out of the house- by purposeful avoidance, by chance, by a sort of half-amnesia where they've compartmentalized away everything from that part of their lives.

Eliott knows- and he’s dead certain that Even knows, too- that Lucas and Isak’s mothers did _things_ to Lucas and Isak during their episodes that they don’t talk about. Things that make Lucas and Isak understand each other better than their other counterparts, things that make it easier for the two of them to get under each others’ skin better than any others because they _know_ the worst. They know how to make things hurt.

Eliott understands that Lucas, Isak, and Martino all made the comment about mental illness that broke the hearts of Eliott and his counterparts. He can remember the way his own heart had utterly shattered when Lucas had said it.

Lucas apologized several times since then, and Eliott kept telling him, over and over again, that he was forgiven. That he could stop apologizing.

But when Eliott had learned a few more of the details of what Christine Lallemant did to her son in a few of her episodes, before she got help- he realized that there was really nothing to forgive Lucas for in the first place. Eliott could never ever blame Lucas for being wary of mental illnesses, if that was the only exposure he’d ever had. 

(It had made Eliott _sick_ hearing the kind of violence that Lucas had been exposed to. What his father had left him to deal with, no more than fifteen-years-old, alone with a mother who saw demons in her son and, without help, tried to alternately contain them or get rid of them.)

Eliott knows that though his mother's schizophrenia presented slightly differently, Isak went through something very similar at the hands of his mother.

And Eliott knows that though Lucas and Isak have forgiven their mothers for what happened, Eliott and Even haven't quite done the same. Though they understand mental illness painfully well, there's a definite difference between what Marti, Matteo, and Robbe's mothers did to them and what Isak and Lucas' mothers did to them. The damage that was inflicted was so much more violent, so much more intense and unforgivable.

So right now, Even knows what Eliott thinks about Isak and Lucas' fathers and them abandoning their sons to deal with something they were not equipped to deal with- none of their counterparts were, really- and left them in a situation where they were actively in danger if their mothers ever had another episode.

"I think that whatever you decide to do is right," Even says, as supportive as ever, but something in his eyes flashes as he adds: "Though I _do_ think that you deserve far more than how that asshole treats you."

"Attaboy, Even," Lucas says as Isak stares at Even.

"Really?" he asks, and Even nods.

"You deserve the world, love," Even says, leading Isak to blush, even though Even's been complimenting him like that for years. "And all he gave you was the bare minimum, and sometimes not even that. And right now, he expects you to come to a wedding to a woman he left your mother for, all while telling you that you can't bring the man that _you_ love. I'm not offended on my behalf, I'm offended on yours."

 _(That's not why he left_ , Eliott can almost remember Lucas protesting in the first few months they'd been dating, before his father had severed all ties after Lucas came out to him. _He didn't leave because of his new girlfriend but because he couldn't handle my Maman, because he's a jackass, because you don't just leave the people you love when things get tough-_ )

"You've got a good point there," Isak says, and Eliott can hear the frustration finally being let free in his voice.

“You know what I’ve learned recently about letting anger out?” Lucas asks, apparently recognizing the anger in Isak as well.

“To not punch metal walls?” Even offers with a sly gleam in his eyes.

Lucas snorts. “Other than that, you imbécile." He pushes his chair back from the table, grabs his empty coffee cup, and throws it away, then turns back to grab his hoodie from the back of his chair- a hoodie he doesn't really need since it's July and all, but Lucas can't ever go anywhere without a hoodie, even if he's just wrapping it around his waist. “Lemme show you something that Cris showed me last year.”

And oh, Eliott knows exactly what Lucas is talking about, and he approves.

Isak, on the other hand, arches an eyebrow. "Should I trust you?"

Lucas shrugs. "Probably not."

Isak shrugs. "Sounds good to me." He tosses his own empty cup of coffee before turning back and sliding Even a smile. "This one here's taught me a lot about just accepting surprises and going along with the flow over the years."  
  
Even smiles smugly as he stands up, grabbing his satchel off of the back of his chair. "That I have," he says, leaning forward and kissing Isak, who smiles into the kiss before eventually separating and taking Even's hand in his.  
  
"Lead us, untrustworthy one," Isak says, smirking at Lucas, who just rolls his eyes and crooks his finger at Eliott, who leans towards Lucas and into a kiss as he stands up from his seat, taking the moment to cradle Lucas' cheek with his fingers.

Eliott knows Lucas's mannerisms better than he knows anyone else's in the world, even his counterparts', and he knows when Lucas needs a little bit of strength. And this is one of the easiest ways, even five years later, to give Lucas some of that strength.

Then they part and Eliott takes Lucas' hand. "Lead on, petit hérisson," Eliott says, and Lucas just smiles at him before they head out the door.

-

“What the fuck are we doing on a rooftop?” Isak asks once they’re on the roof of Lucas, Eliott, Matteo, and David’s apartment building.

“We’re going to scream,” Lucas says, a glint in his eyes. “Cris and Joana say it’s an amazing stress reliever. They picked it up back in Madrid and brought it with them. And before you ask- yes, it _is_ much better for you than punching a wall.” He flips them the bird while showing up the back of his hands. “My knuckles are all intact, see?”

Eliott smothers a laugh as he leans back against the entrance to the rooftop, watching Isak as he looks around, gaze guarded but expression appraising. He remembers Lucas wearing that same expression, years ago, as he’d shown him the boat. (A night that Eliott remembers so little of, all these years later, but he has one memory clear to him: Lucas, towards the beginning of the night, before it had all gone wrong, looking at Eliott like he’d hung the moon.)

“I can call Cris, if you want,” Lucas adds, “Have her explain it to you.”

“No, I get how you scream from a rooftop, jackass,” Isak says, and Lucas smirks. He and Isak have this slightly tumultuous, snippy sort of one-on-one relationship going on, the kind of which Eliott was just thinking of the other night- something fierce, born of a shared understanding of pain, of anger, of hurting for years without having a way to let it all out.

Eliott can't help but think about Even's second favorite movie. _What happens after he rescues her?_ said the man, and _She rescues him right back_ , Julia Roberts had replied.

Years ago, Lucas rescued him. Isak rescued Even. They were at their worst, in the blackholes created by their own minds (Eliott and his counterparts each have their own comparisons for the feeling of an episode. Nico calls it drowning. Even calls it falling without ever hitting the ground. Eliott calls it a blackhole. Joana calls it the slowly-tightening noose.), and Lucas and Isak found them. They caught them and they held them and they stayed in the darkness with them until the cloud passed. 

And they haven't left since. (That's the important part, at the end of the day. The _not leaving_. The most important thing someone can do for you, in Eliott's opinion.)

But Eliott and Even did some rescuing right back. Lucas and Isak were at the worst points in their life, feeling unloved and alone despite being surrounded by friends who really did care. They had lost their homes and their families and were so far deep in the closet they might have met the White Witch.

Eliott and Even met Lucas and Isak and four boys were saved. They rescued each other and have kept rescuing each other since.

And now that they live in the same city, the four of them and their counterparts, they can all keep saving each other. They can all take each others' burdens, help each other cope, lift the weight from each others' shoulders.

Eliott watches as Lucas and Isak, two twenty-two-year-old men, two broken boys all grown up, shout to the heavens (to a god neither of them believe in), and he can't help but smile. He manages to pull his gaze away from the two of them to look at Even, who's leaning against the other side of the door frame between them, watching Isak and Lucas with the same expression on his face that Eliott is sure is on his: fond wonder.

Then Even looks down at his phone to type something out, and Eliott looks away from Even and back at Lucas, specifically, at his head thrown back as he shouts, at the line of his throat, at the maturity in his gaze that didn't exist years ago- or, at least, the kind of maturity that exits in him now, natural and easy in his face and body.

The Lucas that Eliott met all those years ago had the weight of the world on his shoulders, everything pressing down on him with no way to let it all free. He hunched in on himself, burying everything below a thick heterosexual facade and a smile that never quite reached his eyes as he lied to everyone around him about the truth of his sexuality and his home life.

The Lucas that Eliott met all those years ago slept on a couch. He went through a sexuality crisis and everything that Eliott put him though without even a room to retreat to, alone in a crowded room without parents to turn to or anyone to call his own.

Nowadays, though, Lucas has a home here in Antwerp, an apartment that is only his and Eliott's to share. He has a family that has grown nearly too large to count: Eliott, Yann, Arthur, Basile, Imane, Mika, Isak, Even, Marti, Nico, Joana, Cris, David, Matteo, Robbe, Sander, even Eliott's parents...the list has grown so much, and Lucas will never have to be alone again for as long as he lives.

Nowadays, Lucas has a successful academic career at med school, a long-term relationship, a pretty decent internship at the hospital, a mostly well-balanced social life, and a support network beyond imagining. He has taken that responsibility that was forced on him at too young an age and allowed it to mature and grow, letting himself let be a teenager and a responsible adult, letting himself rely on others and become someone who can be relied upon.

(Eliott doesn't think he's ever been prouder of another human being in his life. Certainly not himself, of course. Eliott is in constant awe of Lucas and what he has done and what he is capable of doing.)

"Thanks," Isak says when they stop, eyes bright, and Eliott can see how relaxed he is, now. Most of the anger has seeped away from him, replaced with a sense of relief.

"No problem," Lucas says, and he means it. He really cares about Isak, as he does about so many others, and he doesn't want to see Isak troubled anymore than Isak would want to see him troubled.

"So do you guys want to get down to the Florenzi-Schreibner household?" Even asks, and Lucas lets out an indignant sound.

"You know that _we_ also live in this building, right?"

"But Matteo agreed to cook dinner for the six of us," Even says, holding up his phone (so _that's_ who he was texting), and, well, that's that.

"Alright, then," Lucas says, "Dinner at the Florenzi-Schreibners."

"Soon enough they'll just be the Schreibners, though," Eliott points out, remembering the comment that Matteo made the night of Even and Isak's engagement.

"You saying that they'll be the ones to get engaged next?" Isak asks, and Eliott and Lucas' gazes lock, across the roof, across space and time, and Eliott's mouth dries a little as he thinks of the ring he bought during his last manic episode that he'd never returned, instead asking Joana and Cris to keep it in their apartment, waiting for the right moment- because Eliott _really_ wants to do this right.

Eliott doesn't think he's going to propose soon. Maybe not even this year. Maybe not even until after Even and Isak's wedding next spring. Eliott wants their proposal to be memorable and dramatic- just like the two of them- and he doesn't want that to conflict with Isak and Even's wedding planning. He has the feeling that Lucas agrees with him on the timing, too.

But once Even and Isak are married, well- Eliott's pretty sure all bets are off.

Lucas shrugs, still smiling at Eliott. "If they decide to do it soon, then why not?"

"I think it's going to be Marti and Nico next, anyway," Eliott responds, and something flashes across Isak's face, something quick and melancholy and wistful, all at once.

"I wouldn't bet on that," Isak says, tone strangely light even as he pulls open the door to the stairs, holding it open for the rest of them. "I think they want to wait awhile."

Even shrugs as he steals a kiss from Isak before heading down the stairs. "Can't blame them for taking their time," he says, "They do have the rest of their lives together, after all."

Now, if there's one thing that Eliott knows, it's _that_. Every version of him and Lucas, every counterpart of theirs, no matter their parents or families or lives- they're a forever kind of deal. They all have a lifetime with their soulmates with whatever variations that might come with.

Lucas grabs Eliott's hand as they venture down the stairs, Isak following them down until they all reach the door to Matteo and David's apartment, where the door swings open to reveal Matteo.

"You guys scream on the rooftop?" Matteo asks with a small smirk as he takes in their windswept hair and red cheeks. 

Isak nods as he pushes his snapback back onto his hair. "Lucas take you up there, too?"

"No, Cris did after my depression diagnosis," Matteo says, "Also just for David in general." He looks back at his boyfriend, who's dutifully stirring the food that Matteo probably left just to answer the door. "Can you _believe_ that he has anger issues?"

David shakes his head. "We all know that Lucas and Isak are the ones with anger," David says, "No offense, guys."

Lucas snorts. "And you run away from shit, Schreibner. We all have issues."

David shrugs. "Touche," he says, then gestures down to the pasta with his head. "Matteo, you want this back before I ruin it?"

"You couldn't ruin anything," Matteo says to David with the softest of smiles, but then glances back at Eliott. "You, on the other hand, need to stay at least four feet away from the oven at all times. I will not risk my pasta."

Eliott lets out a small laugh as Matteo heads back into the kitchen, letting them all into his and David's tiny studio apartment. "I won't go near your food, Matteo."

"Good," Matteo says as he takes the spoon from his boyfriend with a grateful kiss and a nudge to the side. "You know I like you, dude, but food is _sacred_."

As Eliott takes in Matteo, who is definitely Lucas' counterpart but sometimes feels almost like Eliott's too, in a strange way, what with his depression diagnosis and everything, he just smiles and wraps an arm around Lucas' shoulders, pulling him close to Eliott's chest. Lucas's body curves into Eliott's, his hands going to hold Eliott's against his chest, and Eliott can't help but think of just how lucky he is to be here and now, with Lucas to hold, with Lucas to hold him.

"No PDA in my kitchen," Matteo instructs without looking back, as if he has some kind of built-in radar for everyone else's shenanigans.

"Aw," Lucas complains even as Isak laughs, pulling Even along to squeeze into two of the seats around David and Matteo's table. They only have room for three chairs around the table, with their armchair and sofa taking up the rest of the living room. Beyond that they have just the one bedroom and one bathroom with their small kitchen where Matteo makes his masterpieces- the same set-up building-plan-wise as Eliott and Lucas' apartment, though severely different in decorations and furnitute set-up. The Davenzi Apartment (as christened by the ok.cool squad on their first visit) is a lot more monochrome than Lucas and Eliott's apartment.

Instead of having a wall of hedgehog and raccoon sketches, David and Matteo have a wall full of small frames containing mostly photos of the insides of abandoned buildings, with a few frames holding small objects that they picked up inside of those abandoned buildings. Some of David's sketches are on the walls as well, nearly all of them in black and white. It's clear who was in charge of decorating each part of the apartment, as the kitchen is clearly Matteo's space while the living room was David's. The kitchen is painted in soothing shades of light blue, with the spice rack meticulously organized in a way that Eliott knows that Matteo doesn't organize anything save his ingredients.

It says something about each couple, Eliott knows as he and Lucas sit down on the sofa: the way they organize their apartments and split their homes and decorate together, the ways they eat together or and live together and love together.

In the kitchen Matteo and David are moving around each other like two parts of the same organism, with Matteo moving around the kitchen to grab various ingredients and spices and David ducking in and around him, stealing kisses and laughing and nudging each other, never once unbalancing moving pots in Matteo's hands or bowls that David holds up for him.

It says something about each couple how well they know each other, the way they create their own space, the way that they move so naturally around each other. Eliott knows that he and Lucas, that Even and Isak, move that easily with each other, too. The years together have given them that luxury of learning each others' mannerisms that well.

Eliott leans in for a kiss from Lucas, who's now sitting next to him on the couch, and Lucas stops him with an index finger to the lips. "Nope," Lucas says, "You heard the chef. No PDA."

"As if you're one for the rules," Eliott murmurs.

Lucas smirks that beautiful smile of his as he shakes his head. "I'm not jeopardizing my chance at Matteo's cooking."

"Good choice," Isak says from the table.

"You need help in there?" Even calls out to David and Matteo, helpful as always, and David pokes his head beyond their small divider wall.

"Nope," David says, "The kitchen's too small for more than two of us. But thanks for the offer, anyway."

Even smiles at David. "No problem."

And it never is a problem, is it? Offering to help each other, trying to make things easier on each other, supporting and understanding each other after all these years? This little family of theirs, working together, helping each other, whether it's with a place to scream out your feelings or a home-cooked meal or a swimming pool to escape to or a common room to call home or a shoulder to lean on.

They've all been through so much, and Eliott is so happy that he and Lucas are lucky enough to not only find each other, but to find such a wonderful family as this.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so I didn't really explain the full extent of what happened to Isak and Lucas in this fic (because I personally think that implication can be just as powerful as full explanation, if not more) but my long-running headcanon for them is that their mothers, when in the grip of paranoid schizophrenia, would occasionally grab them too hard or push them a bit too roughly for a child to handle. Basically minor physical abuse, as well as rather large amount of emotional abuse due to the religious stuff that their mothers would say as a result of their hallucinations. Both Mama Lallemant and Marianne Valtersen, by the time the OHN scene rolled around, were finally getting help and never treated their sons like that again, but the damage had been done.
> 
> But hey, Isak and Lucas have mostly recovered by now, and are healing thanks to both Even and Eliott as well as being around a community of their counterparts that understand a lot of their mental issues and can help them with it. Also a few therapy sessions throughout college.
> 
> Alright isn't exactly the same kind of fluffy story that the rest of the fics in this series tend to be, but I really wanted to write it and I hope you guys like it. I have another fic half-finished in which Mama Rametta visits Antwerp and we get a little bit of a follow-up to the events in this story, as well as some Marti & his Mamma interaction. Anyone want that?


End file.
